I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: An Interview.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. However, in the midst of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several surprisingly great comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35-year mark this December.

The Role and An Iconic Moment

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger plays a hardened detective who goes undercover as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. During the film's runtime, the procedural element functions as a basic structure for Arnold to have charming scenes with children. The most unforgettable belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere rises and states the stoic star, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Arnold deadpans, “Thanks for the tip.”

The boy behind the line was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career featured a character arc on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the haunting part of the child who returns in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with multiple films listed on his IMDb. Additionally, he frequently attends the con circuit. Not long ago shared his recollections from the filming of the classic over three decades on.

Behind the Scenes

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, be seen, be in there briefly, read a small part they wanted and that was it. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, once I learned to read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was very kind. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I suppose stands to reason. It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was great to work with.

“It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had barely seen his movies. I felt the importance — like, that's cool — but he wasn't scary to me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd show his strength and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He purchased for each child in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was like an iPhone. That was the must-have gadget, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also was given a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.

Do you remember your days on set as being enjoyable?

You know, it's interesting, that movie became a phenomenon. It was such a big movie, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, the location shoot, the production design, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was just released. That was the coolest toy, and I was quite skilled. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all childhood recollections.

That Famous Quote

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember the context? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word taboo meant, but I understood it was edgy and it got a big laugh. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it originated, according to family lore, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they developed it during shooting and, reportedly someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Let me think about it, let me sleep on it" and took some time. She really wrestled with it. She said she had doubts, but she felt it will probably be one of the most memorable lines from the movie and her instinct was correct.